Friday, April 13, 2012

the journey begins...

August 2008: I am sitting on a bottom bunk bed in 301 Pennypacker Hall, staring at the wall with tears rolling down my face, having just hugged my parents goodbye. I had never lived away from home without my family up until that point, and there I was, set to begin the next four years living away from home. At that moment, I was so lonely and overwhelmed with the thought of going to college at one of the largest universities on the East Coast. How was I ever going to feel at home? How would I make friends? I couldn't help but sit on my bed and wonder, what now?

A few hours later, after I had unpacked my whole life and realized that my college years truly were upon me and there was no going back, I thought to myself - I chose to go to school here, so why not make the most of it? Why not stop crying and go out and live a little? After all, work never ends, but college does.

So I went out and I lived a little..........Okay, I lived a lot....
But that's beside the point.

The point is that last Wednesday, I left Penn State for the last time as an undergrad student. And just like I did on that very first day in Pennypacker Hall nearly four years ago, I cried. But this time I cried a little harder... in fact, I bawled my eyes out at Pickles my very last night out. And this time I wasn't crying because I was homesick or because I didn't know what to do with myself. This time, I was crying because I didn't want to leave my home away from home or my best friends who became my family. Gosh, how times have changed....

Looking back on the greatest four years of my life, I realize how much I have matured both academically and personally. Penn State has given me more than I could have ever hoped for in a college experience. I am grateful for the education I received, the lifelong friendships that I built, and the activities/events that I was involved in. That first day I could only imagine myself at every other school in the world except for Penn State, and now, the complete opposite holds true. I will always and forever be a Nittany Lion.

Now you're probably wondering what this story has to do with me being in Ireland.
Well, I tell this story because I find myself in the exact same circumstances here.

As I hugged my parents goodbye at the airport last night, I could my feel my eyes swelling up with tears that I tried so hard to hold back. I was full of so many emotions... I was nervous to once again find myself in a completely unfamiliar environment to live on my own, I was sad to be missing my last three weeks at Penn State and all the senior shenanigans that I know are taking place, I was worried about traveling overseas completely alone and not being able to meet up with anyone right away, but I was also excited for what I believe will be yet another life-changing experience.


I landed in Dublin early this morning and I knew I was no longer in America as soon as I saw steering wheels on the right sides of cars. I took a bus to meet up with my temporary host mom, Hilary. Some of you know that my permanent host family has been away in Limerick for two weeks tending to family matters, but they are supposed to be returning on Sunday. In the meantime, I am living with Hilary and her husband, Stu, and their two kids. Cameron is 18 and Juliette is 14. Needless to say, I am thankful to have my own room here, even if it is very tight quarters! Today was a lazy day. I pretty much just laid around all day - from a combination of being totally exhausted from not sleeping on the plane plus not really knowing my way around. 

It is currently 11:45 pm and I am shocked that I am still awake, but the feelings of homesickness and loneliness once again overwhelm me as I'm sitting here in bed - just as they did four years ago. Yet, after reflecting on my PSU career, I know that it will only be a matter of time before I am once again having the time of my life and wishing that these next 8 weeks hadn't come and gone so quickly!

Now I'm off to catch up on sleep. And then it will be time to make the most of an experience I will never get back...

Miss you guys so much.
night night

Love, An
<3





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